Modern times, chapter 93

A couple of weeks ago, I contacted a building society asking to close my account and transfer the balance to my bank account.  I was told they’d rather post a cheque to me, but that if I wanted they could send a form which, once completed and returned, would allow them to do the transfer electronically.  I opted for the latter, since the nearest bank branch is over an hour’s return drive from here.  Having received nothing twelve days later, I called to enquire as to progress.  Hung up after ten minutes of recorded and irrelevant waffle about ISAs.  Called again later.  After ten minutes on hold, I opted for the call back and waited another ten minutes.  

After another half hour on the phone, trying to do the deal online (and, of course, failing) we agreed that they’d post me a cheque in a week’s time, to which add ten days for postal delays.  I was asked why I wanted to close the account, and was tempted to reply ‘that’s none of your (expletive deleted) business’, but kept my cool.  All credit to the helpful woman on the other end of the phone, but the BS’s systems were utterly incapable of completing the task.  Name of building society on application.  So, there we are again, at the mercy of the Royal Wail.  When the cheque arrives, I’ll have to wait until the bank’s weekly local pop-up comes round again.  Is it any wonder I drink?

But then, the garden is at its most encouraging at the moment.  True, the crocuses and snowdrops have finished, and some of the daffodils too.  But we have quite an assortment of narcissi, so shall have them for a few more weeks.  The fritillaries and tulips are doing well, as are lots of clumps of primroses.  The roses are responding well to my usual fierce pruning, helped no doubt by the vast quantity of muck applied by Ben last week.  Curiously, the most vigorous one is Queen Elizabeth, which is planted in next to no soil beneath the kitchen window.  She’s putting up some vigorous shoots, including one from the very base.  So I’ll be able to get a lot of old wood out next winter - if I’m spared.

Time for an update

Not a lot to report: we’ve each had reassuring reports from our latest medical sessions.  The garden is coming along nicely: Queen Elizabeth is putting out lots of vigorous shoots, even from the bottom of the gnarled old branches, and the other roses are looking good.  Gardener Ben was here on Tuesday when three cubic metres of muck were delivered, and spent five hours spreading it out over the beds.  I’d buggered off meanwhile for a German conversation session, so left Martyn in charge of tea-making!

Sad news: our old friend Mary has left us.  I’d known her for over 50 years, and enjoyed her robust Coatbridge spirit.  I later worked with her third husband, and we shared hospitality at her London marathon parties and mine at New Year.  Equally sad to learn that another former colleague has had to part with her elderly cat, Moses.  He was pretty ancient, so I’m sure the decision will have been the right one.

Enjoyable lunch on Wednesday with Marion: I think I prefer my pizzas to Zizzi’s, but theirs are pretty decent.  Martyn and Marion shared a tiramisu, and pronounced it good. A propos catering, I’ve done a batch of broth and another of Felicity Cloake baked beans.  Both are massively better than the commercial varieties.  Today we’ve knocked out a chicken casserole, using a box of casserole sauce I found in the freezer, augmented with some bacon, tomatoes and button mushrooms.  We enjoy working together in the kitchen, and the results are usually good.  Tant pis for our waistlines.

What happened to honesty?

A sedentary, grumpy old git, I spend a while most days doing Scrabble-type games on the iPad.  Each move is followed by advertising for silly games, get-rich-quick bingo apps, and adverts for miracle cures for obesity and ageing.  Today’s crop brought an advertisement for a more sinister get-rich-quick investment scam, purportedly endorsed by Messrs Lewis, Branson and - gawd ‘elp us, Musk and Farage.  Presumably the crooks who post these advertisements manage to snag enough mugs to pay their costs.  One despairs whiles of one’s fellow men.

On a positive note, it has been a lovely day hereabouts.  We had an appointment at Benenden this morning (all reassuring), so went on to Sissinghurst for lunch in the café and a stroll round the garden.  It’s not quite the right time to visit: the bulbs are going over, and the spring and summer subjects are only beginning to show signs of life.  But it wasn’t too busy, and there was plenty of colour from daffodils, wallflowers and much else, and it was a pleasure to get out for a little stroll on a fine spring day.  And the sandwiches and cake at lunchtime were more than nourishing!

Back at Forges-l’Evêque, the garden waste bin is out for collection tomorrow, chocka with cornus, rose and penstemon prunings and not a few brambles and other weeds.  I should be able to get the grass cut tomorrow, though I’ll first have to clear a lot of twigs - nay, small branches - blown off the willow in the recent gales.  So wot wiv grass cutting, twig gathering and the next round of rose pruning, the garden waste bin will be pretty full when they come for it two weeks hence.

Gardening again!

The good old stellata is flowering fit to bust, so it’s time to get the cornus hacked down.  Ben massacred the one at the back when he was here last week, and if we get some decent weather, I’ll get cracking on the ones at the front, now that the magnolia is providing some interest out there.  I’m slowly working my way round the roses, most of which are shooting strongly.

I dealt with the hydrangea earlier, and tackled a few more roses.  With a more modest plan in mind, I went out this afternoon to dead-head a couple of daffodils, and came back with a bucketful of cistus, sage and rose prunings.  I think we’re getting our money’s worth out of the garden waste collection, and the compost the council makes from it will help the town to stay in flower.

A bit of fresh air and exercise helps to take one’s mind off the aches and pains, not to mention the dire state of world affairs.  Our German conversation group met this morning, and read and discussed a piece about prejudices.  We managed to avoid spending too much time and emotional energy on Trump and his lickspittles, but he is a black cloud over us all the time these days.  But it’s a comfort to be able to spend time with such a thoughtful group of people - even if the discussion of prejudices flushed out quite a few!

That’s one of the u3a groups I belong to.  Our computer group met last week and swapped some good tips round the table as always, before retiring to the Constitution Club for a nice buffet lunch (postponed from Christmas, when the town was virtually without a water supply). I’ve also joined a new scrabble group, and at my first attendance won one game and came second in the other.  I’m going to have to work at it: they’re a smart bunch.